i know, i'm just selfish

i was thinking about moving, but Friday and Saturday, i could spend good time with family, so i stopped thinking. but tonight after taking bath, i hated them again. i don't know why. i just need to keep a distance from them. it's what i need.
but i feel so lonley tonight. mi didn't reply my mail. i should study since i have a mid-term exam tomorrow, but i don't want and i don't. i wanted to talk with him or someone but no one is available. no email, no snail mail, no phone, no comments. but if i feel like studing or doing sth, i just refuse people. i don't like me doing that. it is just immature.
i wanna go back to Japan. i wanna meet people who love me a lot.
i know i'm selfish. i know i'm being silly.