been a while

when did i cry before today? it's been a while, i don't remember that.
we had a good time at Aida's. we had tons of food, it was like a food fight. after that i felt like taking a walk and went to madison park. i had a coffee and some tobacco, and i called my boyfriend. we had fun but my camera fell down to the rocks. it was too dark to see where it went. i looked for it using a righter but i couldn't find one. it started raining. i left there. i am so upset. i cried when i read the email from my mom, that tells me she's thinkin about me. she told me she'll cook butashabu when i got back. it is very tiny, kinda whatever message, but i lost my camera that she gave me last month all by my fault. how stupid i am. how can i apologize to her. i wanna be dissapeared.